What are you thinking, mom? Where are parts 1 to 6 of my musings? C’mon mom; I haven’t learnt counting yet. I always thought 7 was the first number.
Anyway, I don’t want to digress. Nice word, right mom? D-I-G-R-E-S-S … and you and dad still fight about whether my first word will be PAPA or MAMA. You guys have to stop acting so childish. Ha-ha-ha-ha! But you know, just to make sure that neither of you ends up with the bragging rights, I’m going to go for DADA or DADI or NANA or NANI as my first word.
Anyway let’s get back to my musings. I have a lot to say, so remove those headphones of yours mom and please, please focus on this blog.
I don’t cry only when I am hungry (though that is the reason about 80% of the time). Sometimes I cry just to stretch my vocal cords. And sometimes I cry just to see how fast you can run. PS. You know why I want you to run don’t you, mom? You keep saying you want to get rid of the extra pounds you put on, I’m just doing my bit to help.
Moving on, I may love cricket when I grow up (I might even take up a sport) but right now I’m not really a cricket fan. Blame dad for that! Every time he watches his favourite T20 team, he screams like he is in labour pain. Every ‘out’ is a ‘knockout’. For my poor eardrums!!!
Speaking of cricket, I have to say that love that Dadi and Nani give me always bowls me over. They really know how to take care of me unlike Meena Didi who clasps her nose when I poop. C’mon! Everyone knows shit happens!
Dada and Nana are also very loving but they pull my cheeks a tad too much! This may sound a little ‘cheeky’ but, mom, you need to make a rule: No more than two cheek-pulls a person! I don’t want to look like a bulldog when I grow up!
What else … what else … aah yes! Please tell all my aunts, uncles, bhaiyas, didis and extended family members not to expect me to smile every time they flash their smartphones. This ‘selfies’ attitude is rather selfish if you ask me.
One more thing Mom, whenever my cousin Sameer Bhaiya comes home, he stares at me like I’ve stolen something from him. He should understand that he was the youngest member of our khandaan for 3 whole years but it’s my turn now. He needs to turn that sibling rivalry into sibling revelry. I’m the apple of everyone’s eye and I just looooove all the gifts, soft toys, hugs and kisses that everyone showers on me.
Last point before I float into la-la land. I know looking after me is exhausting (PS. You’re doing a wonderful job, mom) but there is one other thing I want you to do for me. Take me out more often. To the garden or the promenade or the mall. Basically any place where I can get to meet the new kids on the block.
Yawn! Time for bed. ZZZZZZZZZ!