Just joking mom! But it is Father’s Day today so let him gloat a bit. We both know which word I’m going to say first, don’t we? (Wink, wink!)
But since it is his big day, do show him this blog, mom. I’ve collected my thoughts (while you were collecting all the stuff I’d thrown around in my room) and put them all down. And numbered them neatly. Just like the to-do lists you leave for dad when you are not going to be home for a bit so he doesn’t miss out on anything. Here goes …
- A wet diaper is a real dampener.
Don’t wait till my diaper becomes as heavy as the rest of me. If you see that it is dragging me down, please change it, papa!
- Tight diapers don’t pamper me, they hamper me.
When you snap on a new diaper, don’t clasp it on too tight. That’ll only put more pressure on my insides which will mean more poop on the outside and another diaper change for you.
- It’s just poop, dad. Not a black mamba.
You don’t need to stagger back every time you have to clean it. Yes I know it stinks. But when you gotta go, you gotta go. PS. Instead of baby videos, somebody should upload videos of dads cleaning up baby poop. Million plus views are guaranteed, methinks!
- The sign says: ‘Baby on Board’. Not ‘Baby on Beard’.
Just face it, dad! A beard looks like a hair-brush gone wrong. And no amount of grooming, waxing, curling can save it. And if that isn’t enough, babies hate beards. (Yes, even more than dads hate cleaning potty!) Beards and moustaches poke us. And who likes pokes in this age of fb?
- Homework is for students. Not dads.
Please don’t bring your work home with you dad. You toil hard enough at office as is. At home, I want you to give me all your attention. Make funny faces, roll your eyes, twitch your nose, tickle me, make me gurgle, throw me up (but don’t make me throw up, ha-ha) and catch me in your strong arms, roll me on the pillow, and when I start yawning, tuck me in to bed. That’s what dads are for.
One last thing. You often seem to change your sentences mid-stream when I’m around. Especially when you are watching cricket. Like the last time you went, ‘Oh Fu-fish. What does Fu-fish mean? I think I’m sleepy now. You can tell me later. G’night! And Happy Father’s Day to the best dad ever!
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