Lesson 1: Don’t waste time.
Hey! How are you guys doing? I thought that with such a lengthy lockdown, I’d have plenty of time on hand. Boy, was I wrong! All I had in my hands was a broom or a rolling pin or soapy dishes or my baby’s soiled diapers. Leaving me with hardly any opportunity to do office work. So let’s not waste time. Let’s get straight to Lesson 2.
Lesson 2: Nappy face vs Happy face.
The days at home have brought me even closer to my baby. I can now read my baby like a book. When she cries continuously, she’s hungry. When she cries for a minute then stops for a minute and then cries again for a minute, she’s sleepy. When she yells, she’s bored. When she crumples up her face, it’s potty time. When she smiles with her eyes, it’s naughty time.
Lesson 3: Breast pumps are a boon.
Ok, my wife forced me to write this. Because it’s made life a bed of roses for her. As for me, I rose from bed at 3am every morning to feed our baby. All my wife, #smartmum that she is, had to do was express her milk daily with the help of the breast pump at a far more convenient hour.
Lesson 4: Old tees beat new shirts!
I haven’t worn a formal shirt in some time now. And I’m cool with that. Because old tees don’t judge you. They don’t care if you put on a few kilos. They don’t need to be folded or ironed. And if you can’t find a hanger they don’t mind sleeping on the floor. Hey, even my baby finds them softer and more huggable than new shirts!
Lesson 5: Sweeping + Mopping = Home Gym
30 minutes of sweeping burns 105 calories. 30 minutes of mopping burns 60 calories. 20 minutes of washing dishes burns 50 calories. Running every time my baby cries burns 500 calories! Who needs a gym when you’ve got a quadrant
Lesson 6: Kitchens can be cruel.
Over the last few days I’ve learnt that:
Cookers whistle more than trains.
Dark brown rajma takes twice as long as light brown rajma to cook.
If you cut onions in cold water with a really sharp knife, they won’t make you cry.
And most importantly, it’s ok to have sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Lesson 7: I miss office!
I miss my immediate superior who always put me down because he was afraid that I was more competent than he was. (I was and still am!) I miss the HR head who always looked at me like I’d asked him for a kidney every time I asked him for a casual leave. I even miss the dull, tasteless tea they served in office. You know why. Because office work is far easier than home work. Boss, if you’re reading this, please start office soon! Really soon!
